Non-Negotiable Self-Love

This past month has seen me tested in quite a few different ways and I'll be honest, it was sometimes really effing hard to see the lesson behind why some of the things were happening to me. (Notice I said to me and not for me... I totally had victim mindset last month and I'm not ashamed to say I had to have a few stern words with myself.)

Here is one example of something I've been looking at this month.

Example: Weight Loss vs Being Fit and Healthy


Honesty time, I've always had a issues with my weight. Basically, for the last year or so I've been actively trying to lose weight and I was doing really well, having gone down a dress size and maintained that, but then my Nan died. I found myself on a plateau which it's taken me MONTHS to get off of. I'd been in a battle with my will-power and my goals, constantly changing what I want, what I say I want, changing tactics, and then not being consistent with my actions. How confusing is that to my subconscious and the Universe?! Mixed messages much!


I decided last month to join a gym and I'm absolutely loving it. The only 'problem' is that although I'm shedding inches, I'm not losing 'weight' as such. This hit my self-esteem and my motivation massively.

On the one hand, I really like seeing the number on the scale go down and it seemed that the more I exercised whilst eating right, the more the number either inches up slightly or just stays the same.

On the other hand, I want to be healthier and feel comfortable in my body. Only focusing on my connection to Spirit and my mindset is an incomplete picture, I want to love myself wholly: mind, body and soul.


I've decided that being healthy, and feeling happy and confident in my body is more important to me than the number on the scale. I set out on this journey to feel better in my body and to be healthier, and at first, for me, that did mean losing some weight.

Somewhere along the way I had decided that the only way I could be healthy and happy was to be thinner. I'd railroaded myself into a very narrow version of what success should look like and this was making me feel unhappy and disappointed in myself. I'm learning that actually this isn't the only scenario of success for me, I can choose what my success looks like.

For me, it's more about balance and acceptance. I'm not going to have the same body at 33 (nearly 34) that I had at 16. And nor do I want to. This is is about my Love and my Truth.


Re-examine your goals and get really clear on what it is you are actually aiming for.

By doing this at different intervals along the way, I could have saved myself months of disappointment and instead been focusing on all the wonderful changes I was seeing within my body.

When I stopped struggling against what I didn't want and started focusing on what I did want, everything became easier and success has just become a natural part of being balanced.

Basically, the lesson this month has really been about going for what I want. Being clear on that has been a stumbling block because it involved me accepting that I had put myself in victim mentality (where things are happening to me and are making me feel bad). I needed to shift into the mindset where everything becomes an opportunity to change how I feel and to make choices.

That might sound like a really woo-woo concept, something that's easy for someone else to say but really hard when you're in your own situation but honestly, I've had to apply this to so many different things in my life this month and it's been a wake-up call to keep me on track. In case you were wondering, I'm still also totally a work in progress!

Some of the issues this month I had to do this for this month included: changing the date of my wedding, facing long-standing issues with family members, problem-solving around my car breaking down, and loads more stuff!

My point is, whatever you're facing, don't settle for kind of getting the result you want but also kind of being disappointed too. You can totally find a solution and make a different choice; one that actually takes you where you want to be, without compromising your happiness.

Love Leonie xx

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Leonie Cole  - - 07807264810 

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